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Ramblings of a Retired Mind

 
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hismercy
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Posted:     Post subject: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone
has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage
door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call
blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like
me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have
something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into
your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just
once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an
emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to
do...write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better
yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they
get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life,
Because Life is a journey to be savored.





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southernfinery




southernfinery

Joined:
May 30, 2009
Posts: 387

PostPosted:     Post subject:
Reply with quote
`I wish I had joined when this guy was still around because he sounds like a hoot.I love these jokes.I hope God is merciful to you in your latter yrs and I hope your strength is renewed daily.GBU

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